Broken Road
by MissDevon
Summary: Years after yet another May tradgedy tore apart her world, Donna recieves word of its surprising outcome, and now must find a way to reconcil the woman she is now with the woman she once was and could have been, testing the bonds of her old friendships, n
1. Prolouge

**The Broken Road**

Prolouge

_Glen Oak, California- May 2010_

It was the beginning of May, and as was always the case, she felt the weight of dread hit her. She supposed that she shouldn't. She knew that Stanley would say it was just superstitious, but she couldn't help it.  
Even after all these years.  
Because May still brought pain.

Hurrying up the sidewalk to the door of her parents' house as she balanced her books, she couldn't help but make a mental list of those events. 'That night.' 'Eighteenth and Potomac' mixed with the 'announcement.' CJ being stalked and her agent being killed in an unrelated incident. 'The kidnapping.' 'The Cordel.' 'Gaza the 2nd. . .' shaking her head, she used her key to enter the house as she tried to remind herself that May was a month like every other. That good things happened then too. Huck and Molly. Georgia. . .

"Tella, glad you're here. Mom and Dad are busy and Kevin is working undercover again so I was kinda hoping that. . ."

"I would watch the kids?" she interrupted her younger sister as she put down her things on the table by the door.

"Yeah and thanks," the younger woman said as she shrugged into her light spring jacket.

"I didn't say. . ." she started to protest as the younger blonde hurried pass, "I really have to get to the church, pre-marital counseling. . ." she rambled as she pulled open the door. "Oh and Ben called about the party on Sat, I told him that of course you'd go with him," she added, closing the door behind her.

"Right, because I wouldn't have anything to do then or tonight!" she said throwing up her hands in annoyance. Biting her lip and inhaling, she turned and headed into the family room where two of her nieces were watching TV and their brother slept in a playpen. As the two blonde girls turned and smiled, she couldn't help but do the same in return, "so you two want to help me make dinner?" she asked.

"Unt uh," Georgia, the younger of the two said with a determined shake of her head as Savannah gave a more forceful "No," before turning her head to look at the TV again.

"Well, that's unsurprising," she muttered as she headed into the kitchen by herself, trying to remind herself that this was alright. This was how her birth family worked. She just still had to get used to it, not that five years shouldn't have been enough time to.

But still, there were issues that would never be resolved because the change in family dynamics couldn't be changed back. "Stop it," she muttered to herself. "Stop blaming and stop feeling guilty. If you didn't want to do this, you should've just said so, not that Lucy would've listened, but you could've," she continued as she went to the freezer and pulled out the makings for a light dinner. "You could've avoided it by staying at the library or going up to the apartment, not that she wouldn't have tracked you down. Or you could just do what Ellie has been saying and regrow your backbone," she continued as she moved to the counter and then stopped. "OK, note to self. Stop talking to self and set up an appointment with Stanley before what's left of your mind is completely gone," she self-mocked as she shook her head at the same time that one of her youngest brothers ran into the room. "Didn't think any one else was here," she said eyeing the twelve year old curiously.

David only shrugged as he went to the refrigerator: "Just got here. Oh, there's some guy here for you."

"Really? Who?" she asked as she wiped her hands on a dishtowel.

"Don't know. Some guy in a dark suit," he shrugged as he turned. "Weird though. He asked for you by the wrong name."

"What do you mean? And don't drink out of the container."

"Whatever," he shot back as he leaned against the refrigerator. "He asked for Donna Moss. . ."

"He did?" she asked, paling slightly. "Did he. . . did he say why he was here? Where he was from?"

"Didn't ask. Why? Is something wrong?" he asked in what she would normally think was a cute protective way since there was over twenty years separating them in age.

"Umm. . . probably not," she tried to reassure as she wiped her sweaty palms on her pants. "Can you just stick around for a few minutes? I. .. um. . ."

"You know Lucy and Kevin don't trust me or Sam with the kids," he started to protest.

"Just. . ." she started exhaling. "Never mind," she added as she hurried towards the living room.

The walk seemed to take forever.

She could hear the TV as she passed through the living room, even if she didn't comprehend the words coming from it.

She automatically processed the sound of the kitchen door opening and closing as she came towards the front door and the man standing just inside it.

"Can I help you?" she asked to the accompaniment of the voices of neighborhood children playing outside floating through the open door while she clasped her clammy hands in front of her.

"Are you Donnatella Moss?" the man asked.

"Moss-Camden," she corrected automatically.

"Excuse me?"

"It's Donnatella Moss-Camden. Complicated the reasoning for it," she babbled, hearing a voice in her hear reminding her that the words were grammatically incorrect in the order she had chosen as she pushed a piece of hair nervously behind her ear. "Umm… you're here why? For who? I mean, you don't look like you're with Treasury."

"I'm with the State Department. I'm here to inform you that Josh Lyman. . ." he started.

But she wouldn't let him finish. "No," she said shakily and forcefully enough that it tore Savannah's interest away from the TV and into the hall. "No. . I don't. . . I don't want to know. . ." she continued as she backed up towards the stairs.

"Ma'am you're listed as his contact person and I was asked to come by President Russell himself to inform you that. . ."

"You were also asked to not say anything till I was here," a gruff voice said from the direction of the kitchen, causing Donna to turn her head slightly as she continued to back towards the steps, her hands now covering her mouth.

"No. . .No. . . I know what I had said, but I can't. . .I can't be the one to do it. I know I promised, but no. . .Don't make me do it," she pleaded as she plopped down onto the second to the last step and buried her head in her hands, not wanting to face even one of her oldest friends.

Cursing under his breath and leaning heavily on his cane, Toby Ziegler crossed over to her and nudged her with his cane. "Come on Donna, I can't stand that long and I am not going to bend down, so slide over."

"No."

"At least look at me."

"Why don't you leave her alone?" David asked from the doorway of the living room.

"Why don't you make yourself useful and find someone else to watch those kids tonight. She's not staying." Toby shot back annoyed, as he always was by Donna's family.

"She's not going anywhere with you," David reiterated, wishing that one of his older brothers were here to make the words true.

"Like you're going to stop me kid?"

"Mr. Zeigler, with all do respect. We have little time here," the State Department rep put in as he looked at his watch.

"And we wouldn't be wasting so much if you had followed your orders," Toby shot back before softening his voice and looking at Donna. "Come on, you don't even know why we're here."

"Of course I do. It's May. And you're the one whose job it's always been to tell me the bad news," she answered without looking up.

"Not this time."

"Why because he beat you to it?" she asked on a half-laugh as she indicated the other man with a shaky wave of her hand. "I knew it was coming. I just. . . I can't be the one to identify him."

"You don't have to."

"His will laid out the arrangements," she continued over him, not wanting to let anything he said sink in. Not wanting to have to face a possibility she had spent years avoiding.

"We don't need his will," Toby countered, "Donna, they found him."

Glaring at him she rose to her feet: "Don't you think I get that? Should I be happy that I finally know that he's. . . that there's been a body recovered? Well, I guess I should go call Cowboy Bob and Santos and thank them for keeping their promise, shouldn't I?" she asked before turning and heading up the stairs.

"They didn't find a body, Donna. They found him. Josh is alive. He's asking for you," Toby called after her, watching as her steps faltered before she slid towards the step under her, only her grip on the banister keeping her up right as she managed to turn her body enough to look at him.

"Don't. . .Toby. . ." she cried as she forced herself to face him. "Even if. . . his condition. . . I can't. . .I can't go just to say goodbye."

Shaking his head Toby awkwardly climbed the stairs and stopped a step below her. "Look at me."

"I . .."

"Look at me while I tell you this. He was supposed to wait. I'm here because just once I wanted to be able to give you good news. They found Josh--- him, not his body. He's alive. Yes, his condition is critical, but they've stabilized him," he answered, waiting for her eyes to connect with his, continuing as he recognized the disbelief in them. "They flew him into Germany a little over a week ago. Ellie flew out that night, and the former Surgeon General did as well. They along, with Will, thought it would be better till they knew one way or another before they told you. Russell and Santos took their lead."

"How? How did they keep it out of the cycle?" Donna stammered as she tried to come to grips with a possibility she had never been fully able to allow herself to believe would come to pass.

"Luck, I guess," he shrugged. "Anna Beth is better at her job than a lot of us gave her credit for. Will too."

"He's. . .I mean. . .G-d Toby, after all this time. . . is he. . .?"

"All I know is that he's alive and you're the first person he asked for."

Donna nodded: "Does he know about. . ."

"I don't know. I don't think so. He's still pretty weak from what I've been told. They think seeing you will help."

"They're going to need to get him a therapist," she sighed, her mind going into protective mode as she mentally reviewed what state he could be in, then realizing that her own mental state was probably questionable at the moment added: "Hell, I'll probably need to talk to someone. I just. . . I can't believe. . ."

"Stanley will be on the plane. One we don't have a lot of time to catch," Toby informed her, not admitting that he had already called and spoken to the man himself since some images and memories could never be erased no matter how much you tried to erase them.

"I have to watch the kids and. . ."

"Go pack. I'll handle coverage for your sister's brats."

"I don't know what to take? What do I take, Toby?"

"Yourself."

"Yeah. G-d I need to get the ring. I haven't worn it since. . ." she rambled as she moved down the stairs. Only to stop: "Passport, I don't have a passport any more," she said with a touch of panic.

"Taken care of."

"Right. Everything's going to be taken care of, I just have to get to Germany," she said, more to herself them him. "Toby, are you going to. . ."

"Yeah. Made a promise to," he shrugged self consciously, "now go get whatever you need."

"What if I don't take the right things?"

"Germany has stores Donna or you can send for them."

"Right. Right. I'm not used to limited notice packing any more. Or any packing for that matter. I'll ummm. . . I won't be long," she said hurriedly as she moved automatically towards the kitchen, her mind trying to assimilate to the news and the change in her routine. . .


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Toby watched Donna walk out with a slight shake of his head before turning towards the State Department Representative: "well, you really handled that nicely."

"I was just following protocol," the man defended stiffly.

"Screw protocol," Toby shot back to a gasp from David. "Oh grow up," he grumbled as he moved towards the kitchen area.

"You shouldn't be here, and you can't order me around," David answered as he trailed behind the man.

"From what I've seen no one does."

"You need to leave my sister alone."

"Your sister can take care of herself," Toby replied as he looked at what Donna had started to make for dinner, and took up where she left off.

"I'm calling my parents."

"You do that."

"And Lucy."

"Good, for once she can take care of her own damned kids instead of pawning them off on Donna."

"We don't talk like that in this house," David said angrily, unable to think up a better retort.

"Yeah, I've gotten that. Go make your calls," he said dismissively as he turned towards the refrigerator. Leaning heavily on his cane he crossed to it, his mind wandering to the past as he opened its door. . .

_2005_

_At the sound on the retreating footsteps, he let out a grunt of pain. "We're going to get out of here. They're going to find us," his cellmate said in a voice._

_"Yeah. Right. When?" he some how managed to get out through gritted teeth._

_"We can't give up hope."_

_Swallowing, Toby shifted slightly, ignoring the pain shooting up his leg as he stared at his friend and colleague. "Even if. . . I doubt we'll both get out of here. They're not going to deal."_

_"They can't. It's why he took the 25th."_

_"And if he wouldn't do it for his daughter, you think he's gonna do it for a couple of lousy bums like us?"_

_There was silence at that, and Toby almost regretted his harsh words. But reality was reality, even in this hell hole. And the reality was that too much time had passed for there to be much hope of a rescue. Of course it was his misfortune that his cellmate was less adapt at foreign matters to seem to understand that. "I can't give up hope, Toby," the other man finally whispered. "I can't believe that I'll have to break that promise to her. Think that they won't. . ." he stopped on a sharp breath._

_"It's been too long," Toby countered. "Maybe if Leo was still. . . but we both know who's really running that office now, and it ain't CJ."_

_"So what do we do?"_

_"Nothing we can do."_

_"But wait till they kill us right?"_

_"Might be better than living in this. With the pain," Toby answered dully as he let his head rest against the wall. "You never said that getting shot was so damned painful."_

_"Pain killers are a wonderful think, till they try to wean you from them that is."_

_"Right," he sighed as he closed his eyes and listened to the labored breathing of his friend. "Maybe you're right. Maybe. . ."_

_"You don't believe that."_

_"I don't believe that both of us will get out of here. They need to make examples of someone. Just promise me something. If Andi doesn't. . .If both her and I. . ."_

_"Already signed the papers, didn't I?"_

_"Yeah. That's right the two of you did," Toby exhaled tiredly. "Take care of them, ok? You actually take them to temple once in a while."_

_His companion laughed slightly at that: "I'm starting to see why it's so important. Why my grandfather. .. I had never understood how he could have still after what he went through. . ."_

_"Strengthens or destroys."_

_"Yeah."_

_Silence reined for a few moments before the man across from him shifted and tensed as the sound of bullets reached them. Opening an eye, Toby watched his expression, surprised at the fact that there was no flight in his eyes. "You. . ."_

_"It's like the music now. Doesn't. . ." he exhaled. "If your right. . ."_

_"Don't. . ."_

_"If it goes the other way. You'll watch out for her, right? Tell her I'm sorry I didn't listen? That I broke my promise and didn't make it back to her?" he asked._

_"You're going to be the one that makes it back, Josh," Toby replied, watching as his friend turned his head towards the door as the heavy fall of booted feet running towards their cell mixed with the gun fire._

_"For the first time, I don't think so. At least, not first. Somehow, I know that as much as. . . well, I was wrong about that too," he sighed as one of their captors yanked opened the door and two more came in._

_"Him," the man at the door said indicating Josh with his riffle as the other men pulled him to his feet and dragged him out of the room as quickly as he came._

_Pushing against the wall, Toby called after them: "I promise. . . you hear me, Josh? I promise!" he cried, wondering if his voice had carried above the destruction raging outside. . ._

"You looking for something in particular?" a voice asked, causing Toby to look behind him in confusion as he blinked to try to bring himself back to the present.

"What? I. . ."

"You ok?" the brunette asked in concern as she crossed over to him.

"Yeah… I'll be fine."

"You're gonna talk to someone, right?"

"I'm talking to you, aren't I?" he asked as he shut the door.

"You know what I mean, and don't try to play me. I know what that look means."

"You read it wrong."

She snorted at that: "I've worked with politicians too long to buy that."

"I talked to someone. And I'll continue to."

"Good. So what should I do?" she asked gesturing to the array of food on the counter.

"Knowing you, pack it back up and call for take out."

"Very funny."

"But true."

"Whatever."

"Original."

"Wasn't going for original."

"Go thing."

Shaking her head, she leaned in to kiss him quickly, then pulled back. "I'm worried about you."

"I thought. . ."

"Fine I'll drop it. But what am I going to do? You know the only kids I'm good with are yours."

"Rosinna Glass is coming over. Her daughter had the misfortune of marrying into this family, so I'm sure she'll be acceptable."

"You really don't like Donna's family do you?"

"Let's just say the feeling's mutual and leave it at that."

"So what should I tell them."

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Look, from what I. . . they don't know."

"Know what?"

"About any of it."

"By any of it, you mean what exactly?"

"Just that," he answered.

"They. . . come on they have to know something. I mean. She had to tell them something about what she did in DC. What her life was like before she found them. I mean, how the hell do they think she found out the truth?"

"Car accident."

"_Car accident?"_

"She down played it."

"Apparently."

"It's not our place."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. So they really don't know any of it? Nothing about J?"

"I don't. . ." he shook his head. "Rosina and Richard--- possibly Sarah--- have suspicions. We never. . . She doesn't talk about. . ."

"Ok, I get it. I won't say anything."

"I. .. thanks for doing this."

"Someone had to. And despite what people think. . ." she shrugged.

"You don't have to…"

"I know," she answered as a five year old Savannah appeared in the doorway: "We're hungry."

"Well, we'll do something to fix that."

"Who are you?" the child asked with a hand on her hip and way too much attitude.

"Oh, no she did not. . ."

"Her mother doesn't believe in correction."

"Apparently," she said with a roll of her eyes as Toby limped pass her. "I'm a friend of your aunt's."

"She's supposed to be watching us. My mom's sooo going to be mad at her."

"Right. Well, let's find you something to eat why don't we?" she asked as she looked towards the closing door, all the while wondering how the hell she had let herself get roped into this, and how she was going to survive for more than five minutes with the little brat in front of her, especially if there was a chance that her siblings were just as bad. . .


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

David slipped out of the house and into the garage, his steps fast as he climbed the steps to his eldest sister's apartment. So far he had tried to get a hold of his parents, sister Lucy, brother Simon, and brother-in-law Kevin to no avail, which left him to handle whatever the problem might be.  
As one of the youngest Camdens, it was something he was unaccustomed to doing.

Reaching the top of the stairs, he went to the door and opened it. Stepping inside, he pulled it shut behind him. "I know you said we didn't have much time, but come on Toby!" Donna called from the back of the apartment.

"It's not Toby," David said as he moved towards where her voice had come from, frowning slightly when he didn't see her.

"Oh," she sighed not looking up from the jewelry box she was shifting quickly through in her closet. "Where the hell did I put it?" she muttered to herself.

"What's going on?" David asked as he took in the open suitcase on the bed, clothes spilling haphazardly out of it.

"What?" Donna asked distractedly. "Ahh, there it is! I knew it was in here!" she cried in relief as she started to put the old watch on her wrist.

"Tella? What are you doing? Where are you going with that jerk?" he demanded.

"Toby's not a jerk," she answered without looking at her brother as she closed the jewelry box and moved out of the closet and pulled open a dresser drawer, "now where did I put that bag," she muttered as she started to shift through the contents.

"Come on, he has you all in a tizzy."

"Tizzy?" she laughed. "I didn't know people still used that word. Oh, here it is," she sighed in relief as she pulled out the small velvet bag and opened it, "good. I did put it all in here," she exhaled as she crossed to the bag on her bed and carefully but the bag in a zippered compartment. "Now let's see. What else do I need?"

David shifted uncomfortably and blew out a breath. "He upsets you and you're packing to go somewhere with him. That's not good. You're smarter than that," he tried to reason.

"What?" she asked as the realization that her brother was there finally made it into her consciousness. "Oh, David, I didn't realize you were there."

"You're been talking to me," he said worriedly.

"Have I?" she asked as she cocked her head slightly to the side. "I thought I was talking to myself. Old habit. So, what do you need?"

"To know why you're going with that guy and where you're going."

Donna sighed as she stopped folding the shirt in her hand and let it fall into the suitcase: "to see an old friend," she answered.

"That's the only answer you ever give when you go somewhere," he said defensively.

"That's usually where I go. To see old friends," she answered as she went back to her packing.

"If they're all like him, I don't know why you bother," he said tensely as he leaned against the wall.

"OK, the protective little brother act so isn't working right now," Donna chided as she moved towards her bathroom. "Besides, I don't have time for it."

"Tella, you can't just go off somewhere. Who's going to watch the kids?"

"Toby said he's taken care of it," she answered as she came back into the room and dropped shampoo, conditioner, and a small cosmetics bag into the larger suitcase.

"You can't just leave them with strangers!"

"Well, you're here," she sighed as she looked around the room. "I should probably take my laptop. Means, I need to take the plug too, but I don't have an adapter. . .I'll just borrow Toby or Will's if I need to," she muttered to herself as she returned her gaze to the suitcase. "Guess it doesn't matter how messy this stuff is. I don't have time to make it nice and tidy, but not a heck of a lot is."

"Tella, you're really acting weird," David whined as he bit his lip in concern.

Looking up as she zippered her suitcase, she smiled slightly at him: "I'm fine, really."

"He made you cry."

"I misunderstood what he wanted to tell me, that's all," she reassured as she bit a finger in thought. "Where did I put that bag? I promised I'd bring it. . ." she sighed as she moved to the closet.

"If it's no big deal, then tell me where you're going."

"I already told you, to see someone."

"Where?"

"Not near here."

"I figured that out. I heard you talking about passports. How can he get you one without your permission anyway?"

"I doubt that was Toby's doing. Would've had to have been Russell. Then again, he wouldn't have thought of it. So probably Ellie or Will instead," she answered as she bent under the bed and pulled out a dust covered book bag, smiling absently as she ran a hand lovingly over it. "Wish I had time to clean it. Then again, he never did," she sighed.

"Tella, I think this guy's dangerous."

"Who?" she asked as she unzipped the front compartment and reached inside, her head down as her hand shut over a velvet box.

"Toby," David huffed.

"He's harmless. Really. He's just gruff," she answered absently as she opened the box and frowned slightly.

Shaking his head, David moved over to her and stared in confusion as he took in twin wedding bands just before she snapped the lid shut and sighed. "What are those?"

"Rings," she returned as she closed the box and put it back into the compartment, lowering her head more as she looked into it and muttered to herself: "I know I put it in here… Ahh, huh, there it is."

"There what is? What's going on?"

"Nothing. Everything," she answered as she put the bag back on her lap while pulling out a second ring box and opening it. Smiling this time, she took the ring out and put it on.

"That's not an answer. You haven't answered one question I've asked," he whined as a knock sounded on the door.

"Come in. We're in the back" Donna called as she moved the bag to the bed and stood as a young black man entered and moved towards where they were.

"M'am, we need to get going. Do you have any bags that you want me to take down for you?"

"A couple," she answered as she cocked her head to the side. "You look familiar. Have we met?" she asked as she moved to pick up the bag that held her laptop.

"Yes M'am," he answered.

"Clear to elaborate?"

Looking up as he started to pick up the suitcase and duffle bag next to it he gave a slightly embarrassed smile. "My name's Anthony. I. . ."

"Was Charlie's 'little brother,' and before that Simon's. I remember you know," she answered with a smile as she picked the book bag off the bed.

"Yeah. So, this all you taking?"

"I need to grab a couple of books. I think I left them in the house. But other than that yeah. I think so."

"Then I'll bring them down. Where are your books, I'll get them and bring them to the car as well."

"Front hall table," Donna replied as she moved towards the door. "My purse is there too. I'm going to need that, aren't I?"

"Probably'd be a good idea to take it," he said as he started towards the door.

"Yeah," she said on an exhaled breath as she looked at David. "I think I have everything. Apologize to Lucy for me, and tell Mom and Dad I'll call when I get the chance, not that I'm sure when that will be. And keep an eye on the apartment. And the mail," she listed quickly. "And my plants, OK?"

"I don't like this."

"Duly noted," she laughed.

"Tella, you haven't said. . ."

"I'm taking a trip to the past, ok?" she asked.

"I don't understand."

"I know."

"But. . ."

"You wouldn't understand even if I had the time to explain. Of course that would mean I had enough understanding of the situation to understand, which I don't," she rattled off as she went to the door.

"You're making a mistake," he warned as they started down the stairs.

"No, I'm not."

"But. . ."

"For the first time in a long time things are going to be OK," she said, then paused slightly. "Unless the curse of Bass rears its head again," she added less unsure as they exited the garage.

"Would you stop with the curse of Bass already?" Toby grumbled from near the door. "Stupid ceramic cat was all it was."

"Right," she said with a good natured roll of her eyes.

"Can we get going. They're not going to hold the plane, and we have a connection we have to catch as well," he chided.

"Yes we can."

"Tella. . ." David called as he watched his sister walk towards the car and hand the two bags she carried to the black man.

"I'll call."

"But. . ."

"It'll be OK," she added as she slipped into the car. "It will finally be ok," she whispered under her breath as she looked with a bittersweet smile at the ring that now readorned her hand. . .


End file.
